In my house, my wife is the medical expert. I haven’t a clue whether you are supposed to take a disprin, paracetamol or ibuprofen. I tell my wife what is wrong and she tells me what to take. When it comes to the financials, that’s my department. While we do talk about things, she doesn’t have much interest and outsources it to me.
Having spoken to couples about their money for decades, it is usual that one of them looks after the finances in the household. There is nothing wrong with this. It is usually the person who has an interest in finance and investing while the other party has little interest.
What if something happens to you? Your spouse needs to know where everything is and how much there is. If using a financial advisor, they should have a list of most of your assets and will be able to help. But a lot of people prefer to look after their own finances. Your spouse needs to know:
They need to know how much is in each account so they know the amount of money that is being left to them and how to access it, so contacts names need to be put down on the list.
What bills are paid for from which accounts. With so many services on direct debits, your spouse needs to know what account they are paid from so they can ensure that there is sufficient funds to cover the ongoing bills.
If you have a business, you need to tell them what to do with it and what the expected value of it is. Will the business be able to run itself without you or will it close without you around? Who should they talk to to get advice on what to do with the business?
While you may be comfortable with running your family’s finances yourself, your spouse has had little or no involvement. Plus they are in mourning, running a household on their own and have come into a large amount of money that is to last them the rest of their life.
Leave them with some names of who can advise them on their money and the amount of income they should be taking from the money they have received. It doesn’t have to be a financial advisor, a friend can also do the job but they need someone to help them.
Don’t forget to let them know your passwords or where to access them!
Steven Barrett
26 January 2026